My life is great!
It is gratifying for me to be able to say this. Great hasn’t always been the most appropriate adjective for my life. It took a lot of courage, determination, time, energy, blood, sweat and tears to get here. Okay maybe there was no blood involved, but there was some sweat and tears. This great life didn’t just happen to me; I had to happen to it.
I am reflecting on the state of my life because I am about to go see a Spiritual Healer, even though I don’t think I am in need any spiritual healing. During a casual conversation with a guy at work, he mentioned that his wife is a healer. This got a couple of us all worked up with girly excitement and we made appointments to go see her. It seemed like a nice, fun idea at the time. Today, the day of my appointment, I have a knot in my stomach and feel nervous and afraid.
What am I afraid of?
I am afraid that she is going to tell me that there are bad things looming in the future of my great life. You see I don’t entirely believe that you have control over everything that happens in your life. I believe that some things are pre-determined, by your soul, before you take your first breath as a human. Things such as your parents, when you will die, as well as certain events and people; there to present your soul with certain experiences necessary for its evolution.
So am I afraid that my soul may have some more freaky dicky stuff lined-up for me? Yes, but mostly my fear comes from a lack of confidence I myself. You might asked; “If you believe that certain things are fated, as you seem to, then you don’t have control over what happens to you anyway. So what does self-confidence have to do with anything?”
Well, you see, I believe that you get to choose between fate and destiny. What is the difference you might ask? The difference is in your response. For example, I have a cousin who started abusing drugs in reaction to his father’s death. He says they help him deal with the injustice of his father dying while he, my cousin, was still so young. I believe his father’s death was pre-determined but not my cousin’s drug abuse. He had no control over the former and 100% control over the latter.
On the flip side, I was once privileged to attend a talk where a beautiful petite young lady in her very early 20s gave a motivational talk. This young woman is a professional motivational speaker and has other impressive accolades the specifics of which I cannot recall at the moment. Her choice in career was a response to her parents dying of AIDS and turning her into an orphan while she was still a school kid. I don’t think, had my cousin’s dad not died he would be a drug abuser, or had this young woman’s parents not died she would be a very good, very successful motivational speaker. He is a victim of his fate and she is the master of her destiny.
So I guess I am afraid that the spiritual healer will tell me unpleasant things about my fate and I won’t have what it takes to turn them into my destiny; that instead of taking responsibility of my circumstances I might choose victimhood, because only responsibility gives you the ability-to-respond.
PS: I am back. It went great AND she fixed my back too.