For the love of good men


Some time ago while reading the letters to the editor in a  magazine I realised how habitually we bash men. It is  unacceptable to degrade people based on their race or  because they are women, seemingly it is okay to belittle  men based on their gender. Nobody objects to  declarations that all men are dogs, cheats, big babies,  jerks, etc.

I subscribe to Universal Laws, including the Law of  Attraction which teaches that whatever you focus on  you get more of. I see no benefit in focusing on, and thus  getting more jerks, cheats and losers. I decided, instead,  to start a good men appreciation campaign. The idea was to create a website where women publish posts of appreciation about good men in their lives, on a public forum so other women can read them thus directing our attention towards what we do want more of.

I called a graphic designer to brief him on an icon to symbolize a good man, he snorted derisively as if I was asking for a live unicorn.  I soon discovered that his reaction was not unique, even men seem to have bought into this myth that good men are extinct or at the very least they do not think women believe in the existence of good men.

Some women fear that if they praise men who are mediocre they will become even less satisfactory, when in fact the opposite is true. Men are just like dogs and babies, but not in the way that you think. They thrive on approval.  If you give them praise for a particular action they are likely to repeat it. That is how we train dogs and babies; you acknowledge and praise a certain behavior they repeat it, you ignore a particular behavior soon enough they stop doing it. So in that way, men (all of us) are like dogs and babies. They aim to please. So to get more goodness from a man, acknowledge and praise him when he does what you like, instead of pointing out all the ways in which he is still inadequate.

In the process of getting this campaign off the ground I’ve had unbelievable support from many men. When I went to looking for help creating an icon for the campaign, building the website and generating publicity for it, many men were helpful.  In most cases they over delivered. It is as if they were thirsting for an opportunity to do good and when cast in that role they thrived.

From November 25th to December 10th is 16 Days of Activisms against Gender Violence. The 16 Days campaign really highlights the consequences of the kind of men we can definitely do without. I thought it would be a perfect opportunity for us women to show our appreciation for the good men whose presence in our lives is a blessing not a curse. I have therefore put up a challenge to have 1 million submissions of homage to good men on the website by the end of the 16 Days.

To achieve this I need your help, so please post tributes to the good men in your life, and spread the word to other women. Remember where attention goes, energy flows and where energy flows stuff grows.

One thought on “For the love of good men

  1. Bev' says:

    Wow… this is a remarkable initiative and indeed the laws of attraction will bring forth what we thinketh’… I feel I am one of the many lucky women to have been blessed with a lot of good men in my life. From bosses to friends to family – you name it I have it. I give honour to all the good men in my life, for 1 my dad has been my pillar of strength throughout my life and now I have been blessed with a loving, ambitious, faithful, god-loving and dear man in my life. Thabang you are the greatest and I thank God for having meant someone like you. To all the men in my life – much respect and admiration to you all.

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