Goddess Upgrade # 9: Make Yours A Goddess Entourage

I watched, in horror, an acclaimed actor doing a publicity interview on TV while his face hardly moved. I wondered how someone who made a living out of bringing characters to life, and hence should treasure the mobility of his facial muscles, would think that paralysing them was anything but a bad idea. I thought it odd that big shot Hollywood actors seem to use a lot more Botox than other people, when logically they are one group that should stay away from it. Then I remembered my bikini waxing saga.

I have vivid memories of my first Brazilian wax. It was embarrassing and painful, and the discomfort didn’t end at the spa since it itched terribly when my hair grew back. Yet, I went again. Somehow along the way I had bought into the idea that trimming my pubic hair was just not good enough anymore. It was necessary to completely eradicate it for a smooth finish, even if it meant enduring physical pain and psychological discomfort.

I believe that both the Hollywood actor and I are victims of the same phenomenon –  peer influence. The late entrepreneur and motivator, Jim Rohn famously declared that we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. Our health, our wealth, even our wisdom is influenced the most by the 5 people we spend most of our time with. If these people make healthy food choices, do not smoke and exercise regularly, chances are so do you. If they always have too much month at the end of the money, I bet you too struggle to make ends meet.

Peer influence is a very powerful force. Firstly the need to belong is a very deep and powerful driver wired into our DNA. We are a tribal species. Our evolutionary success is partly due to our choice to live in tribes. The cost of which includes conforming to certain rules, behaviours and values. In modern times your broader tribe is the society you live in, narrowing down to your friends – Jim’s big 5. Secondly, peer influence is powerful because it is extremely subtle. As you spend more time with people you start dressing like them, talking like them, watching the same TV shows, etc.  This does not happen overnight, it creeps up on you. Jim Rohn insisted that this influence is so powerful you end up with the combined attitude, health and income of the five people you hang around the most.

His warning has a lot of scientific backing. One long-term study of 12000 adults found that your chances of becoming obese increase by 40% if you have an obese spouse or sibling and they jump to a staggering 170% if a close friend is obese. I have previously cited a study that showed that your friends’ happiness has an impact on your own, and books such as “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” demonstrate the impact of your associations on your wealth. The power of the tribe!

Take a moment to think about your aspirations and then look at your tribe. What are their expectations of you, do they believe in you? As Tony Robbins, another celebrated motivator observes “most people’s lives are a direct reflection of the expectations of their peer group”. Are you satisfied to have their health, wealth and attitudes? If you are the happiest, healthiest or most ambitious member of your tribe then you need an entourage upgrade pronto! Unlike in prehistoric times, you get to choose your own tribe, so why not make it a gaggle of goddesses who reflect your highest potential?

15 thoughts on “Goddess Upgrade # 9: Make Yours A Goddess Entourage

  1. Doreen says:

    I second That, Wow!! Default Peers(Family) I spent most of my Days with my Negative look down on a selected people always Complaining Grandma, and her Daughter My Aunt who is her mother daughter and My Uncle and my 2 cousins who love to gossip about each other to me, I’m surrounded by negativity Schuks ………. And as much as I hate to admit it I see them in me *CRYING* I live with these people, Question is How can I stop being like The negative People I spend time with, Stop spending Time with them n Go out and mingle with the Goddesses I aspire to be like, start a book club I think that a great start and a first great step to meet goddesses

  2. bqwele says:

    Wow , I am impressed , I have spent the last six months with my friend who was stressing me as she was emulating me and it would feel like dejavu for she was repeating my lines and wearing my style of clothing and she woul ask for my opinion and critizes it only to use it later. I think what got me worst was her negativity on life whiCh I can not cope with as I feel like she is sucking me dry as I feel drained after I spent a day with her .

  3. bqwele says:

    I am impressed , my friend is forever emulating like we are twins and I feel like dejavu as she uses my views which she critize first and use them a month or two later . And what gets to me the most is her negativity , after spending a day with her I am drained and need a refill. And now reading that makes me think ! And wow .

  4. mpho says:

    Wow!my face is lighting up I just feel happy,because reading the above article gave me so many solutions to most of my challenges,Wow I feel empowered,thank you KG for the positive role you are playing.Big up to u awesome Kagiso.

  5. Matlhogonolo Mosime says:

    I have just started reading this great book and cfrom the introduction i was just WOW’d and i told myself i will not rush through this book but read it session by session and writting in my diary everything that goes inside of me. I trully love this book.

  6. Phily says:

    Yeah, now that I think abot it, I am influenced by my family members as well as my friends partly. anyway I am seeing the change in my attitude, yes I know its only been a day but I feel absolutely happy!!!

  7. Nhlanhlo says:

    I heard about the book Goddess bootcamp on Motswakho 2 days ago and I signed up for the newsletters. I must say it has opened me up to a new way of thinking, we really are a reflection of the company we speak. It reminds me of a motivational speaker Pastor Zondo who always says show me your friends and I will show you your future.

    Thank you Kagiso!

  8. nandicharl says:

    #I am a goddess
    #iam a goddess
    To Kagiso keep on doing such brilliant work you are incredible.know that you are indeed changing lives of young women like me in defining themselves. 💖💖💖

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