Sleeping Your Way To The Top

Do you ever consider why certain things are considered wrong and others right? Like sleeping your way to the top, which I happen to think is a perfectly acceptable career advancement strategy.

"Please, everybody knows she got there on her back"

 

Too often I’ve heard people diminish a woman’s career success by attributing it to sexual favours she bestows upon, male, bosses. Phrases like “she got there on her back” have been wielded as handy weapons for devaluing or entirely dismissing women’s career ascent. I do not think there is anything wrong with sleeping your way to the top.

Why is sex a less legitimate means of achieving career success than say, strong negotiation or even kissing-up skills?

Most people have a few traits or skills they credit with their career success, like intelligence, the gift of the gab, charisma, working hard or working smart.; all perfectly acceptable strategies. I think the only reason sex is unacceptable for this purpose is because of nothing more than a value judgment. Some influential person or people at some point deemed it so and we have happily played along since.

Gloria Steinem, the great American feminist and activist, once wrote a very humorous and thought provoking article titled “If Men Could Menstruate”. She postulated that; “the characteristics of the powerful, whatever they may be, are thought to be better than the characteristics of the powerless, and logic has nothing to do with it. What would happen, for instance, if suddenly, magically, men could menstruate and women could not? The answer is clear – menstruation would become an enviable, boast-worthy, masculine event: Men would brag about how long and how much. Boys would mark the onset of menses… with religious ritual and stag parties…” My aunt added that they would boast that “my cup runneth over” when menstruating. Before you dismiss this as a fanciful notion, think about it a bit. The only reason that menstruation is deemed an inconvenience, defect or even a curse is a value judgment.  It could have gone the other way. It could have been perceived, as it was in some ancient cultures, as divine, biological proof of women’s superiority and distinction. After all, it is this blood that shows our remarkable ability to incubate life.

You may counter that sleeping your way to the top is frowned upon simply because it has nothing to do with the job.

I know a guy, and I bet you do too, who has built a stellar career out of befriending his bosses. This skill, which gets him promoted with mind-boggling regularity, has nothing to do with what he does or how well he does it. He knows that people do nice things for people they like and so he works hard at being liked by the right people. Many people have made themselves a packet by unofficially being the person whose job it is to make the boss look good. Their job titles rarely betray their unofficial job description; to quietly do the job while the boss takes the public glory. Very often career success is arrived at through things that don’t go on your CV.

Perhaps your objection is a moral one, along the lines of sex being a sacred expression of heartfelt love. This is because you don’t and have never engaged in premarital sex nor had sex for any reason other than procreation and the expression of  genuine love for your partner. You have? Is that not the pot calling the kettle black? I’ve heard many people, women especially, since I rarely meet men who are explicitly against prostitution; say that using sex to get ahead in your career is akin to prostitution. How is that any better or different from doing a job you hate for money? Many people rise daily to spend hours doing a job they hate, sometimes one they find morally reprehensible like selling a product they do not believe in to people who don’t need it, in exchange for cash. Your legs may be firmly closed, but you are using your body and mind regularly to do something that feels wrong, for money. Which would you like to be, the pot or the kettle?

I have a problem with this innuendo, for no reason other than that it very easily tarnishes reputations and since it is near impossible to prove or disprove it is truly a low down dirty tactic.

It riles me even more because it is a weapon only used against women. Men are hardly ever accused of sleeping their way to the top. I bet they would given half a chance, and they’d probably reframe it as an acceptable strategy. Then again women have an entirely different relationship with sex. Perhaps male subordinates are better of showering us with compliments, chocolates, cosmetics and coupons for fabulous goodies. They’d probably term it the 4Cs of job advancement or something with gravitas.

For now it’s a bad thing because some influential person or people at some point deemed it so and we happily playing along, but we don’t have to. We can reframe this and anything else, which can be employed with such ease to diminish our achievements.

48 thoughts on “Sleeping Your Way To The Top

  1. Kagiso Msimango says:

    This article was originally written for and published in the Feb 2011 issue of True Love Magazine. As expected it generated a lot of reaction, for and against – in my inbox, Facebook and on Twitter. (I wish I got as much attention when I write about other things). I thought I would move the discussion here, where we can talk about it without the 140 character restriction on Twitter.

    This one is a bit different to the one in the magazine, because it is the unedited version that I submitted to the magazine.

    Two requests:
    1. If you are going to comment READ THE WHOLE article
    2. Let us NOT get personal, let us restrict our input to the issue at hand. I know that people get easily emotional about things that challenge their values, but let’s be big girls okay?

  2. Angi says:

    Wow, I loved it! Your view is so objective but putting a single point across,not many write like this. I’ll admit, I am one of those that have looked down upon the idea of using my body,I still do. But have never actually seen it/or labelled someone for doing it. My theory was that they would have to go to bed with their conscience too. I’m not a fan of judging, especially because I hate being judged myself. I could go on. Luckily I unfortunately missed your True Love article, so that I would be able to appreciate this one. Another thing I’m not a fan of, is sugar-coating 😉

  3. keneilwe lehloenya says:

    Loved the article, it really provokes one to think about their values. To also take a step back and realise how judgemental we are when it suites us. I enjoy your style of writing and would love to read more.

  4. Sheila says:

    Respect, respect of other people’s choices. I believe that we are not General Managers of the Universe in a sense that we are not qualified to point fingers at one another as women. Everyone of us is born with the survival instict and that is what gets others to do what they deem fit to survive at that pointing time. Lets pass enough unconditional love and support around and to each other as women and all else will fall in place. “Lets those who have no sine cast the first stone”.

  5. jermaine says:

    ‘You cant hide Excellence’

    any organization that hires a person because of kissing a** or getting their a** tapped is doomed to fail…

  6. N170 1 says:

    I enjoyed this article because it validates feelings of unfair treatment I’ve experienced in some of my past workplaces- where men would befriend my male boss, go out to lunch, talk sports etc. and would in turn get favorable attention. I agree that a woman using her body as a tactic to move ahead is comparable to a man befriending his boss.
    It is a secret weapon for women to use- if they are continuously overlooked for promotions and underpaid, then why not? Of course the woman will be judged by some or seen as a ‘prostitute’ but I think we are living in a time where morals are not held on a pedestal and it is becoming more acceptable to do what you have to in order to achieve your goals.

  7. M1 says:

    I am wondering how this relates to the notion of historically associating women with nature and men with culture?

    Is woman to nature as man is to culture?

  8. N170 2 says:

    As a female, I have often contemplated the stereotypes that women face regarding our sexual habits/tendencies. I enjoyed reading this article and I completely agree with the concepts of sexism that you bring up. I believe that women have just as much of the right that men do to make decisions about how they use their bodies, wits, charm, intelligence etc… I agree that judging a woman’s decision more harshly and critically than a man’s is a horrible double standard that our society must at some point deal with.

  9. Rocio (M170) says:

    I really enjoyed this article. At first, I didn’t know what to expect and was a little skeptical about using sex to get your way to the top, but when I read the line comparing work to prostitution,
    “How is that any better or different from doing a job you hate for money? Many people rise daily to spend hours doing a job they hate, sometimes one they find morally reprehensible like selling a product they do not believe in to people who don’t need it, in exchange for cash.”
    I completely understood.
    Because yes, I’ve had jobs where I had to put my values aside and sell products that people don’t need, and made people sign up for credit cards that could put them into ruin, and kiss ass for bosses I hated. Having to do those things sometimes took a toll on my self-esteem and made me wonder why I was doing things I didn’t value.

    At least by sleeping our way to the top, we get some exercise done, maybe have a little fun, and get that raise or job we wanted.

  10. (m170 ) 3 says:

    I don’t think that there is anything wrong if woman sleep with men to archive what they want. I thin that this more a personal issue if a women is OK with that then is their choice and people should not judge her. I agree with Msimango when she mentions that sometimes people do jobs they do not like for cash. Therefore, if a woman is wiling to sleep for cash is her choice. However, it has to be her choice no one should be forcing her to do anything she doesn’t want.

  11. N170 (49) says:

    Things that make you go hmmmm. This is truly a thought provoking piece and it puts many on the teeter-totter; Is the glass 1/2 full or 1/2 empty or good vs. bad. But no matter how we label it, we all have to live in our own skin no matter how much our complex society influences are lives. Being human can be a hard gig with our highly developed minds, oh the humanity of it. If it wasn’t for morality we would only be animals doing what we have to do (to or with anyone/thing) to survive or get ahead. Just like Darwin’s theory, only the strong will survive or how about using the Manifest Destiny doctrine to justify women’s territorial acquisitions in the business world since it has historically been governed completely by men. Hard not to be cynical since there is no real answer here and a history of inadequacies. Who am I to say what is right for one person or another – as long as physical or mental abuse is not involved. Keep up the good work – continue to make humans think so that we can continue to evolve into that wise / knowledgeable man we are labeled to be.

  12. Skye M.170 says:

    Wow, this was an incredibly provocative article… I have to admit that upon reading the first few sentences I was not convinced that I would find anything to agree with, but I stand corrected. While sex and the method of “sleeping your way to the top” were the focus of the article I enjoyed the paragraph that you wrote regarding menstruation and how it is perceived. This statement stood out in particular:

    “The only reason that menstruation is deemed an inconvenience, defect or even a curse is a value judgment. It could have gone the other way.”

    And while dominant White society may agree with this notion of menstruation, it has “gone the other way” in different cultures. I am biracial, my father is of Scottish ancestry and my mother is a local Northern Sierra Miwok. Within my Miwok culture, as well as many other American Indian groups, menstruation is a rite of passage for many young girls into womanhood. Menstruation, often referred to as our “moon” is viewed as a powerful time. It is for this reason that we do not participate in ceremony, we do not handle ceremonial items, we do not prepare of cook food for after ceremonies, and we do not even approach structures related or used in ceremony. When a woman is on her “moon” she is viewed as being at her strongest, and it is thought that she can drain the energy from others- it has nothing to do with being cursed or putting bad medicine on people, instead it is out of respect that we do not participate in certain events during certain times of the month. Growing up in a predominantly White society, I have not lost touch with this and when discussing menstruation with other women the notion of being perceived as something positive and powerful when menstruating is, for lack of a better word, an empowering thought.

  13. Lesley 170 says:

    I have no problem with this concept, as long as it is consensual on each side. All women have the right to decide what they want to do with their body, and if it is advantageous for them to get a promotion or better job by sleeping with someone they have the right to do so. I especially like how it was pointed out that “it is a weapon only used against women.” I doubt that any man will ever get accused of sleeping his way to the top. Whereas successful women are either viewed as bitches or slutty, without any mention of their intelligence.

  14. M170 A says:

    I believe that women sleeping their way to the top are neither right nor wrong, depending on your own opinion. For me, a person choosing to sleep their way to the top is more of a personal choice, rather than a professional choice. There are many ways for a women to reach the top position without having to sleep with their bosses. However, if a women decided to do it, than it her own personal choices. Nevertheless, the same things applied to men also.

  15. Deb(m170) says:

    This is a very interesting viewpoint about the accepting the idea women should be allowed to have sexual relationship with their boss to acheive a higher position in there job. The different comparisons made me think about this in a different way that I never would have thought about. I do have a concern if sex with your boss would be seen in a positive light. My major concern with this mentality is that women have fought very hard over the years for women not be treated as sexual objects by men. Society is trying to uphold this moral and ethical achievement.

  16. ethn 170, guy says:

    I was not expecting this type of article. Fun read. Anyways, my personal opinion is that this stereotype of sleeping to the top is slowly eroding. I’m 25 and as I sit here with some of my friends (who range in age from 19-27), we all think it’s no big deal. I think that, of all things, pop culture has influenced us in a way that talking openly about sex is no longer such a taboo. Jersey Shore anyone? (we’re actually watching it right now).

  17. M170 3 says:

    I am a woman and I completely disagree with this kind of tactic for men or women. I believe that advancement within the workforce should be determined based on merit. Personally, I would not want to use my body or sexuality as a means to get ahead because it does not reflect my intelligence or skill within a career field. Ultimately this method would cheat others including myself in maximizing the skills, knowledge, abilities needed for a raise, promotion, or to be hired by a company. Basically it doesn’t give the woman any value. Anyone can have sex, but can you balance a budget?

    I don’t necessarily judge others who might choose to do this, however it is simply not the tactic I would use. I think it is far fetched to compare men getting to know their bosses or “kissing up” to women using sexual intercourse or seduction as a means to get ahead. Women have come a long way in this country to combat these notions and these actions would be deemed sexual harassment at its best and in turn devalues the entire women’s rights movement.

  18. M170-58 says:

    I enjoyed reading this article. It does have some good points but I cannot relate to this. I really dont care if people dislike me, I dont lose sleep over it.
    I guess this is another way of people trying to hussle for a higher position in a company.
    Do what you can with what you got i guess you can say.

  19. M170 (T) says:

    Wow! This is an interesting article. It reminds me of workplaces that hire beautiful women to attract male costumers. One workplace I can think of is Hooters. The way I see society between men and women is that men want power where as women want be loved. This lead women to nature and men to culture because men create a society where men can have the power to give love to women. The only way women can be loved by men is to sleep their way up.

  20. Randy (170a) says:

    I agree with this article and the point that the author makes. In the society we live in women are looked down upon and men are continuously praised. Many people believe that we live in a mans world. But too often we forget that no one would be here if they were not given life by their mother.

  21. CJorrin170 says:

    The article brought up many good points in regard to how there are many double standards in regards to how men and women move up in the work place. The part that stood up to me the most ha d to do with a male at work moving up in his career by befriending his bosses on an extreme level. I have personally dealt with a man like this and i agree. It has nothing to do with how he performed his job, it was the fact that he knew how to kiss up that made him advance. This provided an argument good enough for me to at least think twice on the issue.

  22. M170 3 says:

    This article defiantly made me think a tad bit different on the subject of women sleeping their way to the top. before reading this article, i used to be a critic of the act as well. After reading your points, i can see how woman would be so offended of the names that are put down on us.

    thank you!!

  23. Emily M170 says:

    In contrast to the author, I do not agree with the idea of it being okay for a woman to use sexuality as a means of achievement. To me, it is not empowerment; instead I see it as a new face on the same stereotypes and unequal treatment that women have experienced for centuries. Although this article is clever, witty, and points out double standards to make reasonable arguments, I believe that using sex as a way of empowerment mocks the women’s progressive movement.

    The idea of sex as a means of achievement dehumanizes a woman. She is not seen as an equal, intelligent, or productive asset to the company, but instead as a tool for man’s pleasure. Instead of working diligently, many hours are spent on getting pretty to impress a male boss. When the woman is viewed as a sex object it makes it easy to oppress her, similar to the way people of color have been oppressed. This may be why women are still receiving unequal pay today. Everyone knows that sex sells, look at the ads in our society, the job market is no different. Why is it that women can be appalled at being seen as pieces of meat on television but use that same idea when it is beneficial to oneself?

    Using sexuality may get you the initial job, but it will not come with the same respect which hard working women who use intellect to obtain the position will receive. It is true that a woman has to work harder than a man for equal attention; however, sex should not be seen as a loop hole for this. Sexuality will not make you a CEO. Therefore, is this continues, women will remain at low positions while at the same time sacrificing dignity, and lowering the opinion of one’s ability, reiterating the stereotypes that women have long tried to overcome.

  24. Tavio McAllister says:

    Sexual promiscuity is generally looked down upon for females, whereas males are typically commended for it. This ideology is evident in the statement “she got there on her back.” Even if that were true, why is it that we throw vulgar slurs at women who we think are doing this while patting the male on the back? If a man openly sleeps his way to the top, people still cast the female in a negative light rather than the male. I’ve seen this firsthand in my own job. I completely agree with the theme of this article – that it’s important to recognize gender bias and call attention to it. We cannot promote change by passively accepting the status quo. We have to actively analyze why things are they way they are and encourage others to open their minds.

  25. HN (M170) 4 says:

    This was a very eye opening article. If the gender roles were switch around where men did menstruate they would make it as a big deal in a good way. It just seems that anything that is related to men has good connotation while women get the bad rap for same things that men do that’s considered acceptable. If it was a situation where a guy was sleeping with his female boss, would anyone accused him of “sleeping his way to the top”? Would it have the same negative connotation that it has for women who sleeps with their male bosses to get to the top? Honestly, I don’t think it would.

  26. M170-MA95 says:

    I definitely understood the sexism that goes on with in the work force. Our society has viewed that if males are in high positions they obviously worked hard to achieve that position. If a woman worked hard to make it to the top its considered absurd because woman can’t make it on their own. Male figures are seen as the money suppliers for their families and women face the stereotypes of being stay at home mothers. The popular culture in which our youth live in teaches our young male to sleep around and its considered “pimping”. When females do the same it’s usually comes with derogatory words and looked down upon.
    As far was comparing prostitution to work, I would have to strongly disagree. Not all people dread their profession and not all are in it for the money. Prostitution is letting go all of your pride and respect for yourself similar to sleeping with the boss in order to get to the top. Its like loosing your soul in order to gain something that can easily be replaced at any given time in life.

  27. Maya M.170 says:

    I agree with the author. Women should use everything that they have available in their repitoir in order to advance themselves. Men use social networking, athletics, drinking in order to create relationships in order to advance our own self interest. Sexism does affect our society, at the end of the day, each person is out for their own self interest.

  28. BrendaM170 says:

    This article addresses the double standards of sex, that have injustly oppressed women for ages. A man could sleep around and will receive a pat on the back, the women does the same and rather than empowering her sexuality she is devalued. Her character becomes tarnished. Analyzing the statement of using sex to open doors of opportunities,one could say there is nothing wrong with this because people use external methods to gain advantages in the workplace all the time. Yet by using your biologies, your body, to open doors of opportunities you are embracing the perceptions that “women are to nature as men are to culture.” This essentially translates that you are accepting the subordinations that come with those gender roles. The subordinations, that men have used for years to continue to oppress and strip women of any power.I embrace the power of the womanhood, the abilities to produce life yet I see this as supplemental to my character, not a definition of myself.Sex is a beautiful thing, but I would rather be defined by my brain, my thinking rather than my sexuality. I do not want to conform and use my body to get ahead because I am embracing the social constructions that have blindly defined gender roles.The same social construction that have dehumanized women since the beginning of time, by using sex as a strategy to construct my path to success I am admitting that I have nothing better to offer to the world than my body. Credit me for my knowledge, my wisdom not my ability to have children or to have sex.

  29. M170 (Z) says:

    This article brought an interesting point about double standards between woman and men. Women who sleep their way to the top and are considered “prostitutes” and frowned on. Men do the same thing and are considered pimps and are glorified for their actions. Women are given a bad reputation for this because anything they do sexually will have a negative response to it. Men and women constantly judged on different levels that always promote men’s wrongdoings as okay and women’s as totally bad. Sleeping your way to the top is only seen bad if women do that to climb the ladder on the job. Men can do the same thing and it is acceptable and okay. These double standards need to change because men and women are equals and one should not be put before the other.

  30. m170 4 says:

    Very interesting article. There are double standards to everything in our society today. Men get away with anything and women are often lookd down upon especially if they have committed to something that supposedly men are allowed to do and think its okay. Yes, women are let down for many things and being a prostitute isn’t making women today look any better.

  31. 170 disagree says:

    I personally disagree with this article.
    I am one of the people who use morals as one defense in my disagreement. I believe that sex is sacred, intimate and spiritual. I believe that in each encounter you lose a part of your soul to the person you “give” yourself to. That might sound crazy to some of you but this is my belief and to me, it goes both ways, for men and women.
    Women have been discriminated against throughout history and often viewed as simple sex objects. Through time however, women have made a stand and have proven that they are just as smart and capable as most men. “Sleeping to the top” in my opinion, is a step backward in that fight. Sex for money or promotion is de-valuing this intimate act and I think media and music play big roles in causing society to be numb to sexual immorality.
    Another issue in the article compares sex for women as lunch for men. I really DO NOT think that these two acts are compatible. May be the man is sacrificing his time and maybe even his money but not his body and all that entails sexual encounter. So using this example, a man is asked by the boss to have lunch with him and though he doesn’t want to, he goes because he may be demoted otherwise. Now in comparing that to the woman, the boss wants to have sex and though she doesn’t want to she may be demoted otherwise. Is it still okay? Is it still the same type of situation?
    To me money and status is totally NOT worth it and to say that this is the only means of providing for your family is just lying to yourself. We shouldn’t however, be condemning the women who chose this route in my opinion. I feel that they should be empowered by the knowledge of their worth and not by the false sense of power they feel through sex. Maybe a greater challenge would be not to “go with the flow” in a corrupting society but to take a stand against the men, bosses, media, music and societal influences that encourage the devaluation of sex. This is just MY opinion. Thanks.

  32. M170(AN) says:

    I love this article!!!! This article is very interesting reading. It made me think about how we should value ourselves and respect own body. I believed it is wrong to have a sexual relationship with their boss and received a higher position in their job. For that reason, I think differently when women sleep with someone and try to work her way up the ladders. When a woman does that, it made them look like a slut or a whore. They think women who sleep with their boss because they think it is an easy and short cut way to reach to a higher position. Compared to other women who work very hard for years and still at the same level. Overall, I really enjoy reading this article.

  33. ETHN 170-Wickett says:

    In a sense, I can see what the author is saying. It is no difference from what others in life are doing. While reading this, the one thing that has come across my mind was the Bill Clinton incident, where he was accused of cheating on his wife with his secretary, Monica Lewinsky. Although President Clinton was impeached because of the whole thing, Lewinsky was made out to be the “home wrecker” of the situation. Clinton was looked on as being the cool “stud,” while Lewinsky was looked on as being the prostitute. Till this day, she is, and will always, be known as the mistress that gave the President oral sex.
    Hillary Clinton was another issue, many questioned her as well, especially when she was trying to run for president. Nationwide magazines and newspapers criticized her constantly during the election. The affair between her husband and Lewinsky was issued out, and so her role as a wife was talked about as well; as well as her appearance. Last presidential election just seemed to be more catty than usual.
    Sleeping your way to the top is sometimes no different from other bribes due to the fact that, most businessmen, managers, and corporates favor men over women when promoting individuals. This is a society where after decades of fighting for equal rights, most women are still treated as second class women.

  34. M.A. 95 says:

    I strongly agree with the writers when she states the institutionalized sexism that has been going on for many years. Over the years our women have been treated with low expectations and with disrespect under the radar in many business. In the popular culture, when males sleep around they are labeled as “pimps” or the “man”. When the situation is flipped females are seen as derogatory or nasty slurs that I refuse to state. Women are seen as basically weak, too emotional and have mood swings. I find this to be horrible stereotypes because all men come from a woman’s womb.
    In terms of sleeping around to get to the top and seeing a job as a prostitution, I would have to disagree. If someone has to sleep around to make it to the top then they would do so without their dignity and respect for themselves. An individual should never have to swoop down to succeed in their profession.

  35. ERC 170 says:

    I applaud Kagiso Msimango for writing this not because I agree nor disagree with her but because she exercises her ability not as a women but as a human being to express her opinion. If women sleep their way the top, then, let them do what they please. Labeling them with labels of immorality would just be trying to suppress their freedom of speech. I do find interesting her claim that if men were to menstruate, they would consider it a mark of superiority since this will only help perpetuate their “superiority.” All in all, though, this is a very intriguing article.

  36. JJ m170 says:

    I have to say that I agree with what the author of this is saying. As a man, I know that we have certain advantages when it comes to the work environment, and if we know that a woman is doing better than us, then we throw in the stereotypes. I have caught myself several times seeing a woman on T.V. that is extremely beautiful and saying to myself things that are just connected to sterotypes. Sometimes it’s just a matter of us men putting ourselves in a woman’s shoes.

  37. A.B.C.D. 101 says:

    The issue she discuss raises awareness and shows that women have been and continue to be subjects to sexism. We know women still get paid less than men in same careers/jobs. Society sees men as more important yet, as men, we come from women. It doesn’t make sense, I believe Christianity has put a bit into this because, the bible says women are weaker and in the church women cant be priest and do certain things!!! And who are we to say whats right or whats wrong. There might be a million people agreeing with what you say, but there is another million who believe something else. If women want to sleep their way to the top, I would be OK with it because its them. Personally, If I was in that place I would think about, but if there is women who want to do that, it doesn’t bother me.

    Also, who defines dignity? Society. Church. I think women have the right to do whats right for them, whether I agree or not, its their life, not mine. It is harder for women to advance, but sleeping their ways to t he top is one of them.

    Regarding the comment that if men were to menstruate that we would celebrate and party. This to me seems funny, but it has point. Some Men turn anything bad into something better.

  38. ethn170 #5 says:

    I feel as though it is morally wrong to sleep your way to the top for business purposes espcially. Many women and men do sexual favors so that they can get ahead or get a special bonus, but what ever happend to people working hard and earning their way to the top? People that sleep their way to the top (especially women) get frowned upon, but what about the person that is letting it happen and is ok with it? Many men pay for sex, and I feel as though in this society it is getting socially acceptable, even though I do not agree with it at all. For example, Charile Sheen is getting so much recognition for being a bad boy. He openly admitted that he pays for sex, and the U.S. still loves him and men look up to him. As a society, we need to stop treating people that do morally wrong things as heroes and start treating them for what they are. Sleeping with people to just get ahead is not right, morally and should not be socially accepted.

  39. DC 17 says:

    At the beginning i dint know what to expect of the article, but as i kept reading it i enjoy it. i personal believe that is not a good idea to sleep with your boss just to work your way up and get a better salary. Before all, there is morals and respect. We need to respect ourselves so other people can respect us as well.

  40. B (M170-5) says:

    this was definitely an interesting article . Personally, i dont have a problem with a women sleeping her way to the top, if that’s what works for her . If this was a reoccurance to where other women started to do the same thing, i would probably find work elsewhere . But i cant judge people and how they go about living their lives, so as long as their living their life and im living mine..i cant hate on them .

  41. BM 170 3 says:

    I agree with the author. Woman has been exploited and mistreated by man. Now it is time for woman to find strategies to resist to man’s domination. Women that have so many attributes should use them wisely. So I believe that sleeping their way to the top is a smart move.
    I love the article! Thanks!

  42. Emy says:

    This is a scary strategy for a number of reasons:
    1) sexually transmitted diseases
    2) disempowerment…how can a woman be in control if she is putting herself in a
    vulnerable position? And people will gossip about her and other bosses will
    expect the same favours.
    3) the boss could become addicted and demanding and could see her as his
    possession, “give me a blow job”, “I want to see you”. Humans are not rational
    when it comes to sex, especially a horny man who has a free pass to sex.
    4) What if she decides she doesn’t want to do it anymore? And then he starts
    threatening her and giving her bad reviews and suddenly she doesn’t have
    the power, he does.
    5) It is dehumanizing to have to fuck someone or suck someone for a job. It’s not
    like playing golf. Your body is sacred.
    6) What if you are married or in a relationship and you are committed to your
    partner? Could you live with yourself and cheat on him to get ahead?
    7) This isn’t a strategy but it is a reality that women have often been sexually
    harrassed in the work place and it was expected that they had to suck and
    fuck to hold onto a job, let alone to be promoted.

  43. asdfasdf says:

    Men would not reframe the idea of sleeping your way as a valid tactic. Because if they were in such a position to try, they would not be able to, much like women.

  44. Trish says:

    The reason career advancement in return for ‘favors’ (either sexual or otherwise) is wrong is that you end up with incompetent buffoons at the top. That is corruption, plain and simple. That also happens to be what is wrong with America.

  45. Zoya says:

    What mind pollution. Can’t believe how many positive comments it’s received. That shows how our society is becoming less moral or even immoral. How this author can poison people’s minds like that.

  46. ray ross says:

    Contrary to what’s implied here, the concept of sleeping to the top isn’t a slight against women. As some of the responders have pointed out, the men who accomodate such arrangements are equally to blame. Nor should the label of impropriety with which this strategy invariably gets tagged be construed as an arbitrary convention. The harmfulness inherent in it isn’t difficult to demonstrate. Instead of impartial decision making, this practice inculcates in management an inclination to biased sentencing that emanates from considerations of personal indulgence, rather than the well-being of their organization.

    Moreover, even if the case might be made, as suggested by several commenters, that women are occasionally disadvantaged by what their male counterparts put forth, it’s still a matter of inaneness to assume that corruption can be extinguished by simply applying counter corruption.

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