One of the root causes of the varied challenges, which compel clients to contact me is low self-esteem. Although people really say to me “I have low self-esteem” often it manifests as challenges in relationships (romantic, platonic or professional), as a dead-end career, weight problems, paralyzing procrastination, equally paralyzing perfectionism, fear of failure, fear of success, unfounded fears or pessimism about the future… this is because your SENSE OF SELF-WORTH AFFECTS EVERYTHING.
Self-esteem is the primary currency that we use to trade in life. Quiet similar to money.
Money is a medium of exchange we have all agreed to use to represent value. Things of high value cost more money than things of low value. People with a lot of money have access to higher value/quality things than people with little or no money. You use your self-esteem (your sense of value), to determine what you can afford. If your self-esteem is low you tend to settle for less, (or in some case for nothing) in personal and professional relationships, in the goals you pursue and the dreams you allow yourself to have, in the kind of treatment you are willing to tolerate from others… because that is what you believe you can afford and are worth!
We generally have a core self-esteem that is a result of the experiences in our childhood. In a way, this sense of worth determines our default “glass ceiling” – how far we’ll go, how high we’ll strive. Your self-esteem influences your willingness to take risks and your ability to cope with rejection. Often procrastination, perfectionism, fear of failure and even fear of success are due to a low self worth.
Self-esteem does not only affect your mental and emotional health, but also your physical wellbeing. When your self-esteem is low, you perceive yourself as not worth taking care of, which frequently manifests as a lack of motivation to take care of yourself. You may not bother to eat right, exercise, get medical attention, dress well, etc.
Fortunately self-esteem is not set in stone, it can increase and decrease. Either way, the effects are profound.
Imagine you’ve planned the best December holiday getaway. You are off to some far off exotic island. You’ve booked yourself in to a 5-star place. You have a full itinerary that involves exploring various places, great restaurants, fancy clubs and buying lots of cool souvenirs for yourself and your loved ones. Then something happens and your travel budget is cut in half.
What will you do now? What can you afford?
You may have to change airlines. Downgrade your accommodation. Reduce your stay. Drop some of the things on your itinerary. That famous Michelin award-winning restaurant will have to wait for another time. Heck perhaps you can’t even go as far as you’ve hoped anymore and the Maldives have to make way for Zanzibar.
Worse still, maybe you are always so broke that you don’t even dare to dream about Zanzibar and local shores are as far as your ambitions are willing to stretch.
Your self-esteem is your life’s travel budget. It determines how far you will go.
Things like losing your job, a break-up, a trauma or a disability can be the equivalent of a budget cut. Fortunately there are ways to increase low self-esteem, whether you’ve been burdened with it since childhood or it is a result of a later life experiences.
Let’s imagine the opposite of our depressing scenario. Imagine that your travel budget has been doubled! How far will you go now? How well will you travel? What will you get to experience and acquire? Who will you travel with? Who will you mingle with? What will you feel worthy of?
There is so much an increase in your money can do to improve your life.
Imagine how much bigger, dreamier and juicier an increase in your true currency – self esteem – will make your life.
I offer a 28 day e-course designed to help you improve your self-esteem. Contact me if you would like to learn how to move from Fear to Fabulous in 1 month!