Hungry Chicks

Today I was going through the Humans Of New York site when a picture of an older couple caught my eye. He is significantly taller than her, and even though they are facing the camera, their bodies are slightly angled towards each other, she is on her toes, while he is leaning towards her, closing the space between them. It is an extremely attractive picture and what makes it so is how they are both extending themselves towards the other.

It made me think about some of the clients I get who struggle to attract lasting relationships.

I have seen a fair amount of women who are tired of being single but can’t seem to manifest relationships that go beyond a few weeks or a few dates. Some who have it really bad can’t even conjure a single date. The longer they stay single, the more they hunger for a relationship. They develop an acute almost constant awareness of their unmet romantic needs. They deeply, (some even desperately) want a mate to satiate the longing.

I ask them a question that always stumps them. How quickly they recover and manage to answer the question gives me some indication of how close they are to attracting healthy relationships.

Can you guess what that question is?

“What are you looking forward to giving this man?”

Simple enough, isn’t it?

Yet they’ve become so focused on wanting, on seeking, on needing someone to give to them (or is it to take from?) that they completely forget that in a relationship you give as well. In fact a lot of joy in relationships is derived from giving.

They have developed a needy, grasping energy that is not only unattractive it can be downright repulsive.

Hungry Chicks taken by Graham Johnson

Hungry Chicks taken by Graham Johnson

They are like little chicks with gaping mouths, only concerned with making enough noise to get someone, anyone, to drop a juicy morsel in their hungry mouths. The only person who is moved by such a sight is the mother, anyone else who is attracted to you while you are in such a state is probably someone you should run a mile from.

If you recognise yourself in this picture, take out a piece of paper and fill it with the things you are looking forward to GIVING in your next relationship. This alone will shift your energy significantly.

3 thoughts on “Hungry Chicks

  1. Makabelo says:

    Funny you should post this….I looked at myself and for a while I too got caught up in the man and single jump in train or forever miss it when infect there is a train every 15 minutes but I was willing to risk so much of myself just to be caught in this train that was not even going where I was simply because of the noise and sense of urgency from everyone around me.Damn I even got sucked in to a dating coach who promised to give me the happily ever after when actually my journey along was never planned around making this happily fantasy a priority….ok ok enough of the blame game. Life/relationships will tempt you to become bitter! After a while you don’t expect anything good to happen to you hence the thirst for this before someone decided to close the man and marriage tap..I heard it closed as soon as you hit 30…lol modern forced relationships and marriages who came up with that anyway?Behavior comes out of a believe so I choose to step out and check why I suddenly choose thirst too and it turns out I had believed I had concluded about me that had nothing too do with relationships.

    • Kagiso Msimango says:

      Being in a relationship is nice (when it works), however it will won’t change your core state. If you are miserable alone you’ll be miserable in a relationship. If you are happy alone, you will find a relationship that maintains or enhances your happiness.

  2. REFEMECOE says:

    Very important the part you play , what you bring to the table and how you have defined that role, especially when you are someone like me, who is not yet in a good place in their career , which sometimes affects how comfortable you are with yourself, which can ripples into how you are with partner. I place a great deal on my independence, how well I am doing in my career affects how I feel about myself, crazy, but true. Sometimes I feel like if I was doing better in my career, or , if I was where I wanted to be by this time in my life , it would not be such a disappointment that not married yet, If I was jet setting across world, moving from one place to the other, travelling then I would not have time to think about the man I don’t have or try and force a relationship with any kind of man .

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