Goddess Ishtar, referred to in the bible as the Whore of Babylon, taught that anyone who denies sex denies life. Sex facilitates creation, creation represents God. How can you see the Goddess within your lover, yet deem her greatest means of creation bad?
For many people the words fate and destiny are associated with concepts such as lack of choice...no freewill...victimhood...luck...things - good or bad - happening to you. Maybe choice determines if those things that 'happen' to you are good or bad.